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Recently I had the privilege of attending the 2022 Functional Neurological Society’s international conference. What an inspiration that was! It was so exciting to see hundreds of medical providers eager to learn more about FND.
Have you ever been told that your FND is a result of stress? I remember when I was told that, and I wasn’t happy with that explanation at all! I AM NOT STRESSED, DANG IT! At that time, I was very out of touch with what my body was feeling, so I probably wasn’t feeling stressed. I had learned to always look calm, cool, and collected, even if underneath it all I wasn’t.
We are living in challenging times. Is there anyone whose life hasn’t been turned upside down in the past year? There have been so many unique difficulties, nothing for which we could have prepared.
May the year 2021 bring us health, normalcy, and the end of the pandemic. May we never again take for granted being able to see and hug those we love. For me, and I suspect most of us who have followed precautions, that has been the most difficult part of this year. We watched our granddaughter open the doll I had made for her from a distance, outside. My arms ached to hold her, but my daughter is pregnant, has a chronic illness, and we are being extremely careful. The new year should bring vaccinations for my husband and me, and I’ve never been so excited to be poked with a needle.
Last month, I had a sobering anniversary. October 10 marked 20 years since my Functional Neurological Disorder symptoms began. It was a bit of a rough day as I reflected on the past twenty years. They haven’t been easy, that’s for sure. If you share my FND diagnosis, I don’t have to tell you that. Confusion, depression, despondency, hopelessness, and self-contempt marked many of those years.
Remember those days when you could do whatever you wanted without considering how much it would drain your energy? If you have Functional Neurological Disorder, chances are those days are long gone. Technology has provided some nice analogies for our brain, such as Prof. Jon Stone’s software/hardware comparison to explain why our brain doesn’t function correctly despite normal structure. Thinking about my energy like my phone’s battery helps me manage it better.
Back when we were young and in school, we were often told to pay more attention. It’s easy to get distracted and most of the time more focus helps us learn. For those of us with Functional Neurological Disorder, paying too much attention may actually make our symptoms worse.
Managing my symptoms of Functional Neurological Disorder is easier on some days than others. When life is going smoothly, I can even get a bit lazy about my self care without any noticeable effects.
Going public with my FND recovery story was very much because of a desire to share ideas that could lead others into their own recovery, but my decision to start a blog to help others with Functional Neurological Disorder wasn’t solely due to altruism. It was part of my self-created treatment plan.
As technology becomes more complicated, it seems like it is easier for little glitches to take place in our electronic devices that are so frustrating to figure out. Sometimes the latest update will fix a problem, but as often as not, more glitches show up after the update.